"It's almost time for the women"

My mother has not been able to read a clock for over a year now, but somehow she always seems to know when her favorite show is on. She watches the Ellen Show every day that she can and will stop anything she is doing to do so. Since she doesn't know what channel carries the show, she surfs every one until she finds it.

Thanks to modern technology, she thinks Ellen is only on one TV in the house—the one without a box and that does not require a remote(s) to operate.

On days that Ellen is replaced by various sporting events (mostly golf) my mother becomes upset and takes the omission of her favorite show personally. This is why she hated the Vancouver Olympics earlier this year. Formerly an avid fan of the event, she now sees the games only as a nuisance. After all, what other global event could keep her from watching Ellen for two whole weeks?

Ellen is not my mother’s only television addiction (though it is certainly the most important to her). Every Sunday evening, she starts getting antsy about where she will watch “the women.” This is what she collectively calls Desperate Housewives and Brothers and Sisters since she can’t remember either title. Around 6:30 she disappears to go claim a television and run through the channels. We do not know how well she follows the story lines anymore, but the characters are quirky enough that she stays interested in their episode-long dilemmas.

And, of course, my mother’s daily programming would not be complete without the game shows…