Fashion
My mother gets help picking out her clothes each day, mostly from her husband and daughters who don’t like seeing her put on shirts she pulls from the clothes hamper or dirty jeans she “put away” under the bed.
As the summer heat and humidity intensifies, so, too, do her complaints of being too hot. Finally, on a day when the heat index is high and the air is drink-ably humid, my father decides that he will help my mother find something cool and comfortable to wear. They retreat into their room; a while later my mother emerges wearing a bright yellow Tweety t-shirt, khaki capris, her huge, Velcro shoes, and tan cotton socks that reach halfway up her shins.
“What did you do?!” The words barely make it out before the shock of the sight chokes me. The remark is intended for my father, who had the most influence on the chosen apparel.
My mother just looks at me and blinks, her indifference belying another aspect of her diminishing personality.
“What?” my father counters from behind her.
“You’re just staying around the house, right? She’s not going out in that.” These are not questions so much as pleadings.
“I thought we would go to the store,” he says. “I don’t think it’s that bad.”
My eyes are set to roll before I realize that he is being sincere. I quickly check over his own attire: red t-shirt, cargo shorts that end below the knee, white tube socks, and white tennis shoes.
I am at a loss for words while trying to think of a practical way of explaining what is wrong with my mother’s outfit.
“Tall socks completely cancel out the whole point of wearing capris,” I begin. “And those shoes…,” my eyes are drawn to them by some evil magnetic force. The sight causes my stomach to churn, but I just can’t look away. I want to shout those shoes should never be in full view of anyone, cover them with pant cuffs for heaven’s sake!
Hoping to sound tactful, I explain, “Those shoes shouldn’t be worn with short pants. Mom should wear sandals or slides so she doesn’t have to worry about socks.”
“Well, how am I supposed to know this stuff?” my father asks, irritated that he now has to deal with these mysterious fashion guidelines on top of everything else.
As the summer heat and humidity intensifies, so, too, do her complaints of being too hot. Finally, on a day when the heat index is high and the air is drink-ably humid, my father decides that he will help my mother find something cool and comfortable to wear. They retreat into their room; a while later my mother emerges wearing a bright yellow Tweety t-shirt, khaki capris, her huge, Velcro shoes, and tan cotton socks that reach halfway up her shins.
“What did you do?!” The words barely make it out before the shock of the sight chokes me. The remark is intended for my father, who had the most influence on the chosen apparel.
My mother just looks at me and blinks, her indifference belying another aspect of her diminishing personality.
“What?” my father counters from behind her.
“You’re just staying around the house, right? She’s not going out in that.” These are not questions so much as pleadings.
“I thought we would go to the store,” he says. “I don’t think it’s that bad.”
My eyes are set to roll before I realize that he is being sincere. I quickly check over his own attire: red t-shirt, cargo shorts that end below the knee, white tube socks, and white tennis shoes.
I am at a loss for words while trying to think of a practical way of explaining what is wrong with my mother’s outfit.
“Tall socks completely cancel out the whole point of wearing capris,” I begin. “And those shoes…,” my eyes are drawn to them by some evil magnetic force. The sight causes my stomach to churn, but I just can’t look away. I want to shout those shoes should never be in full view of anyone, cover them with pant cuffs for heaven’s sake!
Hoping to sound tactful, I explain, “Those shoes shouldn’t be worn with short pants. Mom should wear sandals or slides so she doesn’t have to worry about socks.”
“Well, how am I supposed to know this stuff?” my father asks, irritated that he now has to deal with these mysterious fashion guidelines on top of everything else.
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